He watches in horror as I bang the two people who made his adolescence a living hell — My husband Bill never likes talking about his experience in high school. I now understand why. We’re at his 10-year reunion, and he’s being very cagy. People have been approaching us, taking one look at me on his arm, and shaking their heads in disbelief. I’m sure some of them…

An erotic story about body positivity and being yourself — As I’m passing the alley on the corner of Second and Fox, I hear a woman sobbing. Out of morbid curiosity, I duck behind the edge of a building and watch the scene unfold. The woman is on her knees in a puddle, tugging on a man’s hand. My mind…

“Waterboarding?” I said to my boss. “More like waterboring.” Don’t get me wrong. My boss, the evil Dr. Zuulton, is really good a torture. He gets the good guys to talk every time. It’s just that he doesn’t care enough about presentation. “Do you have a better idea?” he asked. …

The story of why not every white guy needs a podcast — Apparently, I have been living under a rock. My idea of a good podcast is How Did This Get Made, which is three of my favorite comedians (Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukis) talking about bad movies. …

Being a nurse is stressful. You’re on the front lines every day, dealing with life and death, arrogant doctors, and ass-backwards administrators. By the time your shift is over, your feet have swollen to the size of footballs. …

Danger ignites a powerful session of makeup sex in the backseat — When Marissa and I first got together, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. These days, the only person who touches my dick is me. We’re more or less just roommates who share a bed out of convenience. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” …

Nobody makes me cum harder than my sentient car — Cars symbolize masculinity. Big powerful engines that make a lot of noise, move fast and pump toxic clouds into the air. Those with the biggest engines are called “muscle cars,” but all that power and speed comes at a price. …

People are always knocking the missionary position. It’s vanilla. It’s for prudes. Novices. Well, I happen to think that the classic is the best. There’s nothing like feeling the full weight of a man on top of me as he drives his cock deep into my sopping wet pussy. …

Helping to bring peace to lingering souls — Sometimes ghosts get stuck here. They’ve got some unfinished business they may not even be aware of, and it’s up to guys like me to help them figure out what that is, so they can move on. Guys who see dead people. And sometimes touch them. In real life, seeing…